
Virtual grave site


My friend Kerstin (pronounced Cheer-sten) was an exceptionally beautiful girl with a year-long tan, long black hair, admired body and a movie star smile. She was the type of girl that always laughed and had a great time. A party girl by nature, Kerstin was fun! Though I was not best friends with her, when I would take trips back to Montana, I was always drawn to see her. She was the type of girl you meet once and never forgot.
Last week while cruising on Facebook I saw a picture of Kerstin on my friend’s online bulletin board. She was in her Halloween costume looking striking. I smiled and then saw the picture caption which read “Rest in peace Kerstin. I know you’re up there smiling down. You are loved and missed.”
With my heart pumping, I clicked to Kerstin’s profile and to see hundreds of comments from friends and family about how she will be missed. Without warning I entered Kerstin’s virtual grave site.
Kerstin died tragically last month in a car accident while driving to work. Being out-of-state in Portland, I never received the message. I had to find out on a social network.
Her Facebook page is filled with last thoughts from her friends. Loved ones write poems and contemplate how tough life is going to be without her. Friends from early childhood and random acquaintances honor her life by adding comments. Two months after her death, people still tag her pictures, leave comments on her wall and share inside jokes.
“Cheery… You would have loved the party your family threw! Everything was perfect! There were so many people and all of them were dressed to the nine, just the way you would have wanted it. Being able to meet all of your friends and family was amazing! It just made me feel that much closer to you. You left an impression on all of us.” - Willow Mariah (Missoula, Mt.)
With the technological trends reshaping how our society operates, I never imagined how it would change the way we mourn. Is this a healthy way to honor a passed loved one, or will it make it harder to get over such an untimely death? I didn’t attend Kerstin funeral, but fortunately I am able to pay my respects—even if it is only virtually. Perhaps she is reading my comment from above. I like to think she is.
























